When I found out I was pregnant with Kiannah, my life began a never-ending episode of "THIS-is-what-you-should-do." "Are you having a boy? Are you going to circumcise him? Of course you are, everyone knows that's what you do!" "You're not going to let that baby nurse whenever she feels like it are you? You know that's bad for them, to not be on a schedule!" "Are you really going to take time off of high school to be a mom? You're 16 why don't you just give it up for adoption!?"
Instead of being a beautiful, memorable thing, it became a I-don't-want-to-leave-my-house thing. Why would I want to be around all of these people who 'support' me when all they want to do is shove their beliefs down my throat. Whether or not to breastfeed. When to start using a bottle, too. When to start baby food. Which brand of EVERYTHING to use. How and when to take her pacifier away. How and when to potty train.
Do people realize that if you really wanted the advice you would ask? Especially if you've done it before. You would think that Maddox being my second child, let alone my second girl, that people would understand I have this under control. But the 'suggestions' keep on coming, like a dam broke loose and no one can control themselves. "Just wait until she can crawl! You'll really be in for it!" "Wait until she's teething, you're never going to get any rest!" I understand every child is different, but I've been through this. Stop trying to scare me into thinking that all of these things aren't beautiful milestones helping to shape the little lives that I brought into the world.
But OMG if you have kids and aren't married -- WATCH TF OUT. You have a whole other thing coming your way when and if you do tie the knot.
Sorry for my abbreviated language but seriously. Over the last week, if I have learned ANYTHING, it is that your wedding is not for you. Not supposedly anyways. My best friend is engaged and we were trying to start planning a few things yesterday when she came over. Her fiance's family wants them to have a destination wedding somewhere on a beach so that they can use it as an excuse for a vacation.
I've had people suggest a destination wedding to rule out some planning. I've had people try to change my color scheme and my decoration ideas (OF WHICH WE HAVEN'T EVEN ANNOUNCED OR HARDLY TOLD ANYONE ABOUT). But more than anything else, people are complaining about our date -- which we haven't announced yet either. Most people only know that we are planning on Fall of 2019.
TWO YEARS!?! We will be engaged for two years! Yes! We have a few things that need done before we get married. We want to have the engagement ring and both wedding bands paid off entirely before getting married. We want to be able to pay for most of our wedding on our own because neither of us want to push it off on our wedding party or our family. We want to have adequate time to plan and decide a wedding that shows both of us in it, not just me, not just him. WE are getting married, and let me tell you I already have gotten in the habit of letting people know that their advice is unnecessary.
It's not always easy to tell your close friends and family or even strangers when you don't want to know exactly how they did everything, or their opinion for that matter. So, tell me, how do you handle getting advice you didn't want? What topics did people continually give you unwanted advice about?
No comments:
Post a Comment